by Steve Venegas
Wendy’s is on the chopping block.
There are a few perfect things in life. The Beatles, Adidas Shelltoes, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, Zelda 64, and for cheap snackwiches; the Junior Bacon Cheeseburger over at Wendy’s.
At least it used to be perfect.
With its once harmonious balance of beef, cheddar, lettuce, bacon, mayonnaise, and tomato, the JBC was the Mona Lisa of fast food burgers.
Then, in an action akin to the theft of Edvard Munch’s The Scream, the powers that be decided to change the masterpiece.
That is is to say, they shrank my JBC. The patty, once a hefty 2 ounces, now tips the scales at a paltry 1.78.
Why? Why would they do such a thing? This is the worst injustice in the history of Western Civilization!
I demanded answers! After calling the toll free number on the side of the bag(1 888 624 8140 ), I was connected to Cindy, a customer service representative. The bemused call centre worker let me know that, in fact, “No, the JBC hasn’t changed size.” Poppycock! I know it has. She then said that, maybe, there might have been a change in my region, but there has been no decision from Wendy’s World Headquaters in regards to the dimensions of the meat.
The game was afoot. I called the Wendy’s where I had purchased my 1100 plus calorie feast earlier that night (604 875 8933). The manager on duty corroborated my findings. Yes, the size had changed she told me. For reasons that may have to do with rising food costs, profitably, or changes in suppliers, the patty is now comprised of less than 90 per cent of the meat it used to be. So, now for every 10 burgers they sell, one of the them is pure profit, as oppose to the previous value structure.
The wrappers have also changed so that the silver sheet may now be used to cover a variety of sandwiches rather than just a single type. While this may be an environmental choice, odds are this was also a cost saving measure. Things are hard all over, I suppose.
The manager told me that the move came from further up on the Wendy’s power ladder, and that if I want full answers, I’ll have to call the offices in Langley (604 607 7748).
After a number of phone calls and e-mails, I have yet to hear back from the suits representing Dave Thomas’ baby. My quest continues.
I am going to get to the bottom of this.